I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
