Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
