i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it hurts more in the daytime
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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