Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
