new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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