I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
