Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
