One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
