i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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