after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
