Kiss
Puke
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
