Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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