Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
