I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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