Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
