I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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