white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
