Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
