I just threw up on my dentist
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
