i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
