If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
