Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
