the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
