omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
