Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
