I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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