so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
