she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
