You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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