Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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