How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
