Kareoke will never be a sober sport
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
