Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize