He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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