reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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