Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
