He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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