It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
