he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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