if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
