i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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