Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
