I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
