Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize