How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
