Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
