If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
