Moan for me like Helen Keller
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Green mimosas i think yes
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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