I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
