I skipped work to stalk him.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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