then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
