I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
