the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
