Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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