Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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