I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
