I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
