if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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