I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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