New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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