So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
